Embracing the Dinkleberg Attitude: Conquering Workplace Challenges

November 15, 2023

When my children were much younger (my excuse for watching cartoons), I would watch one of my favorite cartoons, the Fairly Odd Parents with them. I say ‘with them’ because often I was still sitting there far after they had left to do something far more interesting. Two reasons, if I am being honest with myself, for my continued viewing were that I could identify with Timmy’s dad in some ways, and I loved it when Mr. Turner would get angry at his neighbor, Mr. Dinkleberg. Mr. Turner would say such kind and sincere things to Dinkleberg’s face but would denigrate him profusely behind his back. (In one episode where Mr. Turner was trying to prove Mr. Dinkleberg was evil, it was more to his face, but I digress.) It was this appearance of the love-hate relationship witnessed between Mr. Turner and Mr. Dinkleberg that helped me understand, in many ways, how to maneuver the workplace as a diverse individual and not let the many subtle and sometimes overt antagonisms in the day affect my confidence or character. Mr. Turner despised Dinkleberg, and all Dinkleberg wanted was to be a good neighbor.

I have lived most of my life in the southern US and I likened these antipathies to having a swarm of mosquitoes following me around, constantly buzzing in my ear and biting me on every bit of exposed skin there is. Early in my career, these bites would stay around for months, even years. Trying not to let these slights, exclusions, or attempted minimizations of my ability or aptitude affect me took a tremendous amount of energy. Each day I would return home full of bites, old and new, but more immune and better equipped to handle their effects the next day. Tired and running out of exposed skin, I had to construct a new perspective for myself. I developed strategies to secure my mental health, self-esteem, and educational attainment to build my immunity. But what made Mr. Dinkleberg my hero was that he seemed to be winning a race that he didn’t even know he was in. Thus, this became my attitude! It hit me like stubbing your toe on the edge of the bed in the dark! Man, it hurts, but the clarity you have in that moment is amazing. I stopped trying to repel the mosquitoes and started being more resistant to them. My intrinsic value started to outweigh my need for extrinsic validation. I became less sensitive to the bites and stings of disapproval, rejection, and subtle disregard. In other words, I stopped trying to prove ‘the proverbial’ them wrong and started to show to myself that I was the man I was purposed to be, nothing more, nothing less. Anthony de Mello states:

“You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not.”

This statement is freeing, at least for me. Understanding that the work I do is free from the inappropriateness, misrepresentation, condemnation, and unappreciation heaped on it many times. But it is the service to others or, as Jennings and Stahl-Wert call it, the “Run to Great Purpose,” that matters. I now do my best to help those going through the absurdity of the Turner and Dinkleberg predicament.

First, understand what these feelings and emotions are, and know that they are real and very debilitating if you let them. Most often, Mr. Dinkleberg seemed to be oblivious to any shenanigans Mr. Turner was playing out, but by the end of the episode, he was helping Mr. Turner realize his errors and overcome his fears. Second, reorient your environment to secure your mental health, self-esteem, and the discovery of resources to instruct you on your new perspective. It is easy to believe something if you are told it enough. But remember, just because you think it or somebody says it, doesn’t mean that it is true. However, the third and most exciting, because you can think it, you have the power to make it so. Nothing happens without a vision first. Now that you understand what these bites represent, your immunity builds, and your new perspective sets in, it is time to explore the run to great purpose, unlock the immense power you have been holding back, and win the race like Mr. Dinkleberg, not knowing you were in a race to begin with.